literature

Seeing Over the Mountains: Chapter Six

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Dragonfire lamps twinkled through the steam, which swelled into the lungs and wreathed the bodies of the hot spring patrons. The ceramic tile patterns on the cavern walls pressed into my back, creating a small cluster of coolness. Water splashed as Syraine stretched. Deeper in the pool where it was less crowded, she had room to submerge herself up to the shoulders.
     Around us, people chatted in clusters or lounged in the thickly bubbled water. Ripples lapped against my belly as a young dragonlet's mother stopped him from blowing bubbles in the water, resting her tail on his shoulder. I shuffled forward to press my feet to the tiny vent in the rock so the new water surged up between my toes.
     I sank a little deeper into the water as someone flung aside the crimson curtains across the hallway to the exit. An impatient courier dragon stalked in, ribboned sash fluttering. For just a moment, he wrinkled his nose at the acrid, sulfur-spiced air.
     "The princess Kiara and companion Syraine?" he bellowed. Syraine dipped her head lower into the water, leaving just two yellow eyes and a crown of red frill poking out above.
     He shook his head and peered through the misty veil, making the chains of beads on his horns clatter. "Princess Kiara," he called. The woman beside me turned to whisper to her husband.
     "Your mother will be upset." Syraine reminded me privately. "Ask the courier what he wants."
     "My lady!" Damn. His claws clicked across the stone as he trotted over to me. "Your esteemed matron wishes me to present this to you." Can't he just say "give"?
     "I am not to leave until I see this in your hands." The tip of his tail flicked back and forth against the rock.
     I groped for my towel on the ledge behind me. After my hands were dry, I reached up for the courier's message. The paper crackled as I untied and unscrolled it.
     My mother's court script requested my presence at the herbalist's office at once. There was some kind of delivery to be picked up and presented to Ellia in the palace tower.
     "This must not be that important if she neither retrieves nor receives it herself," Syraine opined, raising her head from the water and flicking her frill, causing a max exodus of cloudy drops.
     The courier flinched back, then padded over to us again, where he hovered shifting his weight between paws.
     Turning around and putting both hands on the stone, I hoisted myself out of the water. The mountain air trickling in through the curtains grazed my bare skin as the courier turned around and made for the exit.
     I wrung out my hair with one hand. The splat of water on stone cued my dragon in that I was serious and she trailed out after me, leaving a far bigger trail of water glistening on the cavern floor.
     In the spring's steamy breath, I toweled myself as dry as I could get. Syraine spread her wings and tossed her blue towel at me. I mopped the pooled water from her back with her towel and she plucked mine off the floor in her teeth.
     We deposited them both in a nearby basket for the spring's three dragon priest-caretakers to wash. I pulled on my robes and my dragon her sashes, both grateful for the sudden, dense protection from the outside wind's darts.
     She handed me the courier's note from where it had fallen to the floor and I took my place between her wings. The purple dragon padded through the curtained doorway and out onto the ledge, where the air's chill surged through my still-damp dark hair.
     Syraine shook her head, casting away a last few sparkling droplets, and we took to the sky.
     "Now, where does this man, if you can even call him that... reside?" I asked.
     "Over by the falls, you know that. And he seems man enough to me, on those times when he cares to have all four limbs in their natural states."

Next: None yet!

I think I have a better idea of where I'm going to take the plot now :) Advice & critique is, as always, appreciated!

The hot spring idea came to me in the shower a few months ago. Most of this scene has been written for a long time; I just had to decide how to fit it into the larger story.

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Ancusmitis's avatar
This is from :iconreadthine-readmine: readthine-readmine. 
It's hard to say much about this, since so little happens here.  I suppose the first thing is that I wonder if it needs to be in its own chapter all by itself.  It seems to be a prologue to an encounter between the princess/dragon pair and this unnamed man.  Or perhaps the herbalist; I think those might be the same person,but I can't really tell for certain.  Anyway, why not include that encounter in the same chapter? 
Even with this brief glimpse, I can get a slight sense of your human character's personality, and a bit of the dragon's as well.  However, I can't see what, if anything, is at stake.  There's a lot of places it could go.  I imagine this herbalist/man could be a source of conflict.  There seems to be a little bit of conflict at the beginning with the courier, but I don't get the main character's motivation.  Is she tired?  Is she bored of doing little errands?  Does she just want to relax in the hot spring?  Does she dislike this courier in particular?  There could be some tension between her and her mother, but apart from Syraine's reference we don't hear anything about that.  Syraine bringing it up gives you the opportunity to tell us or show us something about it that can't be found in other chapters. 
I like how she makes fun of upper class speech. 
I checked some of your supplemental material.  If priests are usually dragons, do we need that to be specified in this instance?  Especially when the priests do not appear in the scene. 
Also, do dragons have paws?  And if she knows where the man lives, why is she asking about it?  Things to consider.